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The World From In Here

Self work is spiritual work because you’re God.

I've been feeling defeated.

And what's helping me is the idea that earth is just where this shit goes down. period. and all that I can shift is my perspective, possibly then the perspective of others. i don’t believe we are “supposed to be” or “supposed to feel” anything other than what you do feel naturally and only you can define that.

It’s easy to get buried under systemic racism and the views -that we and our family on this earth can’t help but internalize- about how we are supposed to look think and act based on our heritage, culture, society, community, and conditioning.

I find a lot of belief in the idea of reincarnation, I'm intrigued by the idea that each planet has a lesson and when we incarnate here, on earth, our lesson is to learn about struggle, or negativity. There are theories that say that we as high vibrational beings lowered our frequency to be able to come to earth and experience negativity, so that we can experience the whole of frequency.

I'm interested in this because it makes sense for me to rationalize my current experience in the world this way.

First Ill say, we as a human race deem our perception of negativity as the only one. But negativity is just a side to a spectrum. It's not actually bad, unless we are speaking based on what human beings have agreed to as our laws on earth. But speaking on a general spectrum, in order to come into negativity, we must be experiencing positivity, to be able to classify it.

A metaphor: If it was always sunny, you'd not call it a sunny day, you would just call it a day. There must be contrast to name something as different, and experience it as new.

So in regard to the theory, it makes sense that as beings in this earth experience, meant to experience how we are affected by negativity, that we would be peace and positivity-focused beings. This explanation of the earth may seem dark to some, but it's helping me zoom out at the moment and understand my constant frustration with "the system."

And thats the gist. I go a little deeper below.


Everyone has a struggle. Why would there be things on earth that were actually bad, in the eyes of the Creator, or Source, or the energy as a whole, if the ultimate control is in their hands? It would have to mean the control isn't in the hands of Source, or that it was there on purpose. As a believer in source energy, or God, which is present in each of us, I resonate with the latter. I feel like whether you are in close proximity to a universal struggle, expected to have a life of struggle or your struggles are nuanced and seen by the outside mainstream as non existent, it is the presence of struggle -and in turn, lack of struggle- that we are here to deal with. Us having decided to agree with the fact that struggle is our definition of struggle, and that it is bad, has controlled a lot of our narratives as aboriginal, indigenous, moorish, black, brown people. There exists not a being on this earth that does not encounter struggle. To be the chosen sperm is a struggle and it happens before you're even born. It is the beings' perspective of their struggle, and the relation of their struggle to the rest of the planet, that makes a struggle have a name and a place in our world. That’s just how we do things here on earth. So as much as everything hurts right now, the idea that however we are feeling is part of our ascendance from earth is freeing to me. It helps me zoom out. It helps me see the abundance-based motivation of the 'revolution' I so intuitively fight on a daily basis.

Which brings me to a special point. In saying I can relax knowing that all this pain and suffering is part of a greater journey, it is still a small anxiety-easer in a world of situations that it doesn't work for me in. Sometimes I just break down, sometimes I fight a lot harder than is healthy for myself and in unhealthy ways, because the whole just seems more important than my individual well being. But how can I be a revolutionary in the world without being a revolutionary of my own self, my own habits, movements, awareness, thoughts, ideas, inner and understanding?

So I don’t mean that to say we shouldn’t be fighting for equality. That’s part of it as well. It actually makes the fight easier when you don’t internalize it, when you see that this is just our world and part of that world is navigating around, through, and out of negativity, to then fall into new negativity, and navigate again. I only feel that it’s supposed to be this way because it IS this way. and that’s my point, whatever is happening right now is what’s supposed to be happening. That doesn’t mean we want it to be that way; actually, part of what’s supposed to be, is the very fact of us not wanting it to be..

But man listen it seems to have been the same general kind of turmoil off and on for all of time as we know it. And although this could be the year things change, or the century, or the decade, or the month, it breathes a sigh of relief knowing it's not anything TRULY new. We've had immense earth-struggle (and by that I mean the struggle to stay in a healthy relationship with the earth and ourselves as a whole) since anyone living now on earth can remember. Only under the rules we have all agreed upon is this horrible and shitty. And we have 100% agreed upon them. Self included.

However, In the view of “God” or whatever can see us outside of the world we’ve created for ourselves, things are exactly on schedule.